Melissa's Corner

Thanksgiving

2011-11-19T08:31:00.000-08:00

Living with so much abundance, I take for granted a million blessings each day. Instead of living with gratitude, I focus on my worries and concerns, my mind ruled by my to-do list. When does gratitude come naturally to me? When someone bails me out of a tough situation, I am grateful. When someone forgives me for messing up, I am grateful. When anyone gives me positive reinforcement, I am grateful. When I pray, I am grateful, because my mind focuses on He who sustains me and gives me everything! Since living gratefully escapes my natural tendencies, I have to work at it. I try to write down five things for which I am grateful each day. I plug prayer into my daily schedule. I want to talk about the "highlights" of my day more over dinner, because focusing on the positive in our lives deeply enriches every moment! Sharing our positive thoughts with others, giving positive reinforcement, deepens the quality of our lives in immeasurable and profound ways, bonding us to others and fueling the goodness in our hearts and theirs. Thanksgiving -- truly being thankful for all the good in our lives and the good in those around us-- is absolutely magical! I pray your celebration of gratitude will be filled with the warm feelings of well-being that comes from truly counting our blessings and giving thanks to Him who provides it all! Thank you so much for reading this! - JB

God's Timing

2011-11-08T07:00:00.000-08:00

I was feeling out of sorts, but couldn't really identify anything specific...just a little grumpy, forgetful, that not-quite-right feeling. As I went for a morning walk in the sunshine, I realized the source: the coming and going of precious family members triggered my loss of Melissa in an incredibly subtle way. I didn't consciously feel sad, but somewhere deep down my soul was saying, "Where's Melissa?" Slight symptoms of grief were plaguing me, without me even knowing it. I love the way identifying a problem half fixes it!! Once I realized why I was feeling a little blue, I could accept it and feel better!! I grabbed my cell phone to call the friend who had the insight to share with me this common experience of grieving parents: feeling sad when other family members come in and out of your home. I was surprised to hear her voice, since I assumed I would just get her voice mail. And guess what she was feeling at the time? Right! Her son was home for the weekend, and she was wondering why she was not feeling more happy and energetic! I reminded her of her own insight that she had shared with me a few years earlier. "So, do you think you were meant to make this phone call?" she asked, teasingly. We had both seen the fingerprints of our Lord all over that timing. Then I confessed to her, "And God had to tell me twice to phone you!!" It was true. The thought had occurred to me to call her at the beginning of my walk, but I dismissed it. I finally called the second time the thought came to mind. If I had listened to the Holy Spirit the first time, I could have felt better sooner! We never know how or when God will speak to us, but we do know He is always there, always ready to hold us, always our loving and faithful Creator who longs to bless us! Hope you hear the sweet whisper of God today! - And follow His leading! - Blessings JBM

Attacked

2011-10-20T07:03:00.000-07:00

I've been listening to a sermon series on The Invisible War. I don't think about spiritual warfare much at all, but I did have a strange thing happen this week. I teach a class in a secular school in which spirituality is part of the curriculum. I have learned that my students benefit from my encouraging them to find their own spiritual journey. I have also learned that they want to know how I cope with the suffering that I have witnessed as a nurse. Students are curious and want to know about how my faith strengthens me. Minutes before I started this content in class, I experienced extreme stomach pain. It was so strange because this had never happened before now, but this extreme discomfort certainly distracted me from my content. I had no medication to relieve the distress, and was in the middle of a three hour class. At the break, I begged God to take away the pain. Then it just occurred to me to pray, "I rebuke Satan in Jesus name." I kept saying that as I walked back to class. By the time I reached the classroom, I was fine. The pain was completely gone and never returned. My teaching flowed unimpaired, and several students thanked me for my sharing. I trust that the Holy Spirit was guiding me. When we are feeling the weakest, we can be the strongest because we cling to our Lord. 2 Cor. 12:10 Amazing. I don't think we have to worry about the invisible war, as long as we pray without ceasing. The Lord will lead us every step of the way. Have a great walk this week! Blessings - JB

Stressed

2011-09-24T10:34:00.000-07:00

These past few weeks have been crazy at work. I've felt overwhelmed with demands. As I drove into work one morning, I found myself practicing a very effective stress relief technique: very slow deep breaths, exhaling to the slow count of five. It helps me every time to counteract the stress hormones causing my blood pressure to increase, my muscles to tense, or my stomach to knot. This time I found myself transitioning from the deep breaths into singing praise songs. Guess what? Singing does the same thing as the deep breathing. It makes you take those deep breaths and let them out slowly over the verse, but with one extra important benefit: you focus on God! My praise songs put my mind on the source of all peace, all strength, all hope, and all love! By time I pulled into the garage, I was smiling. My circumstances were just as pressured, but my blood pressure was down, and my mood was completely transformed. Focusing on God's greatness and love reminded me that no challenge is beyond His reach. Nothing will come at me that He and I can't handle together. What a difference! I just had to pass this one on to you--- sing praises whenever those pressures pile up. The physical, emotional, and mental health benefits are enormous! Then again, that's just how God works! - Peace, always- JB

Praise Reports

2011-09-05T08:16:00.000-07:00

I find I tend to focus on the things I'm worried about, even in prayer. I'm often too slow to bring my concerns to God. I often stew about them before it even occurs to me to pray about them! Yet, once God answers my prayers, I say "Thank you" and move back to my next problem! It's so easy to be focused on the broken stuff in our lives rather than the blessings!! Melissa shared the same thought in one of her prayer poems: "I'm slower to say "thank you" than I am so say "please". There is actually a whole body of psychological literature finding the importance of training our minds to the positive, but this is an old Biblical principle- Phillipians 4:8. When I was in college, our Christian fellowship packed a small dorm room full of students at 9:00 pm each night for a 15 minute prayer meeting. We started with "praise reports and prayer requests." What a great way to train our minds to remember the goodness and faithfulness of our Lord! Although I have written recently about my daughter's trip to Asia, I neglected to report that she not only returned in one piece, but with amazing self-confidence and loaded with new talent and skills! God more than answered my prayers! So, when we focus on how the Lord has been faithful to us in the past, our minds are fortified for trusting God in the future! We serve a faithful Creator, a Loving Shepherd, a Trustworthy God. So, I will continue to write down five blessings for which I am grateful every day, first thing in the morning! Hope your day is filled with praise! - Blessings, JB

Gifts from Heaven

2011-08-24T08:02:00.000-07:00

I was blessed with a chance to honor Melissa in a dedication ceremony for a terrace in her honor. The whole occasion, although casual and brief, was a big deal in my life. I crave the chance to talk about my child and hold on to those precious memories, which make her feel closer. At the same time, the chance to honor her memory brought back to my conscious the pain of not having her here in person. I found myself back in mild grief: a bit distracted and sad. When I'm feeling the loss of my precious Princess, God sends me just the encouragement I need. He is SO faithful!! This time, the comfort came in the form of a comment by one of the Gordon College professors. I had recently sent her a copy of Melissa's Prayer Journal. She had replied with a lovely note, but I didn't really understand her message in writing. I had to hear her explain in person how much this book helped her in the past two months in order for me to comprehend the power of her gift to me. She had just lost a family member to cancer. Melissa's prayers, , Melissa's positive focus, and Melissa's faith showed her how to deal positively with this horrific loss. She had read Melissa's Prayer Journal several times, because it was so helpful to her. I was so deeply touched! Even I under-estimate the power of Melissa's prayers! But God knows just how He wants to use each of us to touch the lives of others and bring them closer to Him. My Gracious Lord gave me this encouragement that Melissa's prayers are continuing to touch lives and help people, and the message came just when I needed it: when I was hurting and missing my daughter. Thank you, Dear God, for all your mercy and grace and love! Just as Melissa said, "I'd be lost without You.". Praise our Gracious God! - JB

Role Model

2011-08-11T04:47:00.000-07:00

I had a precious opportunity to honor Melissa in a brief ceremony dedicating a terrace in her memory. As her friends shared their memories of her, I was struck again by how much she reached out to others, even in the last months and days of her life. She had a clear mission: to support other people and to share God's love. She lived this mission at every opportunity until her last breath. When time gets short, our priorities become more clear, as did Melissa's. I tend to get so caught up in my own concerns, my own "to-do" list, making it so difficulty to focus on others. When God places a need in my path, I get frustrated at the interruption of my plans, rather than seeing this opportunity as God's provision for my ministry to others. Melissa had no such cloudy vision. She knew every interaction was another chance to give God's love to others, and she made each contact count.... every day she lived. She coped with her lungs filling with cancer by making every day count to bring God's love to a hurting world. I want my focus to be the same. I want to realize petty, little worries have no place in my life. Each day is a precious opportunity to give comfort and love to every person we meet. I pray for that razor-sharp focus on being an Ambassador for Christ, which only possible through constant connection with the Holy Spirit. So, I'll keep trying to stay connected with prayer, renewed by God's Word, and focused on what really matters: sharing God's love. Blessings- JB

Struggling

2011-08-05T04:32:00.000-07:00

I've been struggling with God...... again. I've actually found myself arguing with Him. I argue with God fairly often. It gets me nowhere. I don't recommend it. This time the struggle is over time.... again. I want time to do what I want to do. I fail to recognize His sovereignty in my life to give me time I need to do His will, not mine. Of course, my failure to acknowledge God's control over my circumstances is just another form of rebellion that I don't want to admit to. I know in my head that He will provide what I need to do His will. The hard part is submitting to His plan, not mine!! I want to accomplish what I want to accomplish and then I'll be glad to do His bidding as well. The Lord doesn't work that way. I have to get my head in line with His. How do I do this? How do I let go of precious goals and hand them over? First I choose to obey, secondly, I pray out loud and hand my goals to God and, lastly, I ask for His help with my feelings to follow: His help letting go. I actually got to a place of peace this week by following that three-step recipe. Of course, I have to repeat these steps over and over, because I'm so stubborn and have such a hard time giving things over to the Lord. I am happy to report that prayer works, again and again. This is how Melissa was able to give over her entire life,-- how long she had to live, -- even when she had her whole life ahead of her. Prayer. Asking God to help us to trust. And He does. So, I'll keep praying. Hope you do, too! Blessings - JB

Letting Go

2011-07-29T05:10:00.000-07:00

I've been practicing my specialty this week--- fretting! I'm a pro at worrying about things, especially my to-do list!! I see these next couple of weeks as my last chance to complete my second book of Melissa's writings before I get swallowed up in the academic year. My window of opportunity for 2011 is quickly shutting for this precious project. This morning, I gave it over to God......again. Reading Oswald Chambers brought me back to the enlightenment: my life and goals do not belong to me. I am serving my God, and He is in charge of what gets done and when. The Lord will give me time and strength to complete that which is needed when it is His time. And God knows when the world is ready for this book, not me. I have to chose to let go and let God take control, which for me is a constant struggle. Although painful, letting go is also the only way to peace. Amazing how Melissa kept that perspective, when her time was really getting short! I need to follow her example. So, I'm sharing this little patch of peace with you, while my head is still in a good place. As long as I keep my eyes on Jesus, I'll have a good day! I hope yours is good, too. - Blessings - JB

Panic

2011-07-25T03:55:00.000-07:00

So I pretty much woke up in a panic early this morning..... way too early this morning. I am deeply, deeply grateful that my panic had nothing to do with a family member, at least not one on earth. My daughter in Thailand is thriving, thanks to a life-time supply of amoxicillin. No, this time I'm worried about meeting my goals in the next three weeks, which is when my summer ends. I have a ton of work to do to set up my course that I teach, but that will get done. I'm worried about Melissa's Window, a precious volume of Melissa's journal and diaries in the last 20 months of her life. I started this in January 2007, taking a 50% cut in pay in order to have time off to complete it. I never finish, because other urgent demands came up. I have been waiting four years,.... four long years,...... for another block of time to shut out the world and complete this book. My sabbatical gave me that golden opportunity, once I had completed my promised sabbatical work. But I just finished meeting with all of my book reviewers for Melissa's Window, who informed me that I have a ton of work left to do on this book. I mean another mountain to climb, and only 3 weeks to do it along with my usual course preparation. Of course, the answer to my panic over this book is the same as the answer to my worry about my daughter: Isaiah 26:3 The solution is the same, no matter what the problem, the anxiety, the challenge, the worry--- focus on Jesus! I have to maintain that eye-to-eye contact with the invisible, if I want to remain calm, not to mention pleasant ;-) ( I'm afraid my worried state fails to bring out the best in me with my loved ones.) So, here I am again. Right where God wants me to be. Incredibly dependent on His Peace. Trusting Him with Melissa's story in the same way that she did....... totally. Melissa's my role model. If she can trust Him with her life, I can trust God with her book and His timing with it. All I have to do is keep looking UP! - Blessings & Peace, JB

Centered

2011-06-29T14:37:00.000-07:00

I'm about to send my only surviving child to the farthest corner of the world by herself for the first time. This is not a comforting feeling. Yes, she is in college and will be a part of a reputable program, but she will be far from my reach. Any difficulty she encounters, she has to handle without me. I literally have to hand her over to God. As I was driving to New York to visit Melissa's grave site, I had an "ahaah" moment. The light bulb went on over my head! A verse came into my mind, "You will keep him (her) in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because (s)he trusts in you." Isaiah 26:3. I had to look up the verse, because I had no idea where this came from, but there it was in my head. I remembered Melissa and the incredible peace she had even has her life came to a close. I know that peace came from her constant praying. She stayed connected to the source of peace. She stayed centered, focused on God, and that gave her "perfect peace", just like the verse says. So, what is my challenge during the next 7 weeks with my daughter not even on email most of the time? I must keep my mind centered on Christ, because I trust God. She is, after all, his child, not mine. So, I hand her back to her Loving Father who actually is even more concerned about her well-being than I am, as impossible as that is for my pea brain to imagine! I hand her over to our Faithful Creator, and keep my eyes focused on the invisible. The God who loves her even more than I do will not fail! Thank you for journeying with me! Blessings- JB

Miracles

2011-06-25T07:39:00.000-07:00

I keep a journal of miracles, little things that go beyond coincidence, also called "signs". I began this journal shortly after Melissa went to heaven, when I noticed so many wonderful signs giving me comfort, like the Mylar balloons sending us messages. But yesterday, I've been struck by a bigger miracle: the miracle of God's presence inside of us! I know that sounds so corny, but I've been listening to sermons by Ray Stedman on "Basic Needs". He emphasizes that the basic message of Christianity is not just forgiveness, but God living inside of us as we accept Jesus. Think about this for a minute. God actually wants to enter into us and be a part of US! Is anything more valuable than the divine? We are part-takers of a divine nature by God's grace. I think this is the miracle Melissa kept telling her friends and everyone who would listen: God LOVES YOU!! She just wanted to shout it from roof-tops, because God's love was so very real to her. God's presence living inside of her, not because she deserved it, but because she just turned to Him in her need. When she talked about "the miracles of God's love," she really meant that phrase, even though we have heard it so many times we no longer realize the power. So, I'm certainly inadequate to express it any better than my Princess. I just encourage you to look for those little "more than coincidence" signs in you. Remember that the signs are tiny clues to the greater truth that the Holy God of the Universe loves you more than you can begin to comprehend, and is ready to really be a part of your life, as you invite Him in! God bless you!

Changed

2011-04-20T13:21:00.000-07:00

I've been reading Melissa's journal that she kept in the Fall of 2002, when she was first diagnosed with cancer. The night she learned of her disease, she came home and cried to God. The Lord came to her in a brilliant light through her window in the middle of the night. There was a peace that came over her, and never left her. In her journal, she repeatedly writes about acquaintances remarking about her peace and her friends seeing her so changed. Yet, she doesn't feel changed. She's just going about her business being Melissa, but feeling incredibly loved by God in a way that just astounds her! In the Fall of 2002, after major abdominal surgery and 3 months into horrific chemotherapy that stripped her of even her eyelashes and eyebrows, Melissa states "I'm the happiest I've ever been!" This statement from a popular party girl in High School, who always got attention for her stunning looks and quick wit. Despite the suffering of her treatment, - she did suffer - God's love for her surpassed the worse pain and changed her for the better without her even realizing it. God's love is really remarkable. Melissa also writes about how all relationships need time and effort, and our relationship with God is no different. So that's the key. Stay prayerful. Fill our minds with God's words. And keep looking up-- to the source of Melissa's joy, her Lord. Happy Easter.

Forgiveness

2011-03-25T09:38:00.000-07:00

I'm writing a book on positive grieving, a survival manual for mothers who have lost a child. You know what word I use over and over? Forgive. Forgive others for not knowing what to say or for saying the wrong thing. Forgive family members for fighting and emotionally withdrawing and being irritable, because that's what grief will do if not expressed honestly and directly. Most of all, forgive yourself for everything: for all past mistakes with the loved one and all current mistakes with everyone else because you are in deep grief. Forgiveness is such a critical discipline in the path to healing and healthy relationships. Somehow, Melissa seemed to automatically forgive others shortcomings, especially in the last year of her life. Maybe knowing each day is precious makes us more aware of the importance of letting go of petty irritations. At the same time, Melissa also let people know when they owed her an apology, which makes for honest, close relationships.
Our faith tells us that Jesus died to provide us with unlimited forgiveness. We have to choose to believe and choose to forgive, especially ourselves. Forgiveness is a choice, just as faith is a choice! If we "can't forgive", its because we have chosen not to forgive, but won't admit that to ourselves. Prayer is the pathway to forgiveness, both of others and oneself. If we pray sincerely for God's help to forgive others, He will help us to do so. And we must pray also for forgiveness for ourselves. Holding on to guilt or anger is simply destructive. Both anger and guilt eat away our souls. Choose forgiveness as often as you need to do so. And allow the peace of Christ to reign in you, no matter how many mistakes you make! Peace.

Positive Grieving

2011-03-17T07:40:00.000-07:00

That title may seem like an oxymoron, right? What can be positive about grieving? But we do have choices in our grieving. We can choose to bury our emotions and pretend they are not there, which is largely what our culture tells us to do. I strongly encourage you to avoid this mistake. A better choice is to express your appropriate sadness in tears, memories, writing, talking, praying, and honoring that person. The pain of loss has to be felt, expressed and released in order for us to heal. Holding it in creates a huge boil under our skin that just continues to get more inflamed and painful. Boils have to be lanced for all that bad stuff to be released, and then our bodies begin to heal. Your instincts will tell you how to release this pain, just listen and follow your heart!
If you have lost someone important to you, I highly recommend visiting the grave site as often as needed. Yes, it will be painful, but it will also give you peace. Several of my daughter's friends traveled to her grave site with me a few years ago. We were all apprehensive about how the day would impact us, myself included. I felt responsible to take care of these young people. We spent several hours in the summer under a tree painting rocks with love notes for Melissa to leave there. We each took turns at her grave. We all left with a great sense of peace. Although being at Melissa's grave was sad, it was also comforting! We all had a chance to talk to her and feel closer and express our affection. We had a chance to release some of our sadness, and returned feeling lighter in heart. So, do not fear the pain of sorrow and sadness, and do not feel guilty for feeling such sadness. Our certainty of heaven gives us hope, but nothing takes away the pain of loosing a loved one, which is good pain! It is the pain of love! And feeling this pain just makes your heart grow into amazing dimensions, all the more capable of loving others! So, embrace the pain. Feel it through, without self-pity, but with the knowledge that this is where you are meant to be. Our God has an amazing plan and endless ability to turn our all tears into something wonderful. Blessings on your day!

Pride

2011-03-09T06:01:00.000-08:00

In my last blog, I describe God's awesome mercy on me. He answered my desperate plea for help in writing a book. He not only answered it- but did so in record time! The Lord loves to make it clear, He can do anything! Can you guess what I did when this book miraculously materialized in about 2 weeks time? Yes, I rejoiced. I was flooded with relief, as if my life had just been spared. Then I started to pat myself on the back!! "Hey, I got the whole thing done in about 2 weeks!!" (OK, it was only a first, rough draft, but at least my thoughts were down on paper.) Can you guess how the Lord reacted to my pride? -- Right, I felt the Holy Spirit say, "Excuse me? - WHO wrote the book?" How quickly I forget who to credit when my work is done. How easily we forget our need for God when things are looking up! Melissa never fell into this trap in the last years of her life. She always saw the invisible sword swinging over her head. She was always keenly aware of her need for God. And we are in no less need, although we may be ignorant of what swords swing over our heads! We are all dependent on God's grace and mercy. Every day is a gift from God. Everything we do is a result of God's gifts of time and talent to us. So let's be thankful and rejoice in His love and mercy! - Blessings on your day!

Fear or Faith

2011-02-24T06:18:00.000-08:00

I have been challenged with an overwhelming task: writing a book. I did this to myself, mind you. I deliberately took time off of my usual job to write a book. It sounded like a good idea at the time, until I sat down and looked at that blank screen. Then I wanted to shoot myself!! What made me think I could write a book? Had I lost my mind?? Fear paralyzed me. So I threw myself at the mercy of God. He sent me comfort and direction in a sermon, a phone call from a friend, and my dear husband. I started writing, still racked with insecurity, but I just started. Two weeks later, I was done. The entire book was completed in it's first draft. I can't begin to tell you how relieved I felt! The Lord answered my prayer, but first I had to sit down and take the first steps, even though I was still afraid. I just started writing in faith that He would give me words. And He did! We have to take the first steps on our own. When Jesus healed people, he told them to first do something- "Get up". The healing happened when the sick obeyed Jesus with their first movement. We have to respond to God by following His words, surrendering to His will, doing what we know we are suppose to do! The difference between living a life of fear or faith is choosing to follow Jesus- wherever He leads. The miracles will just happen. Melissa knew better than anyone taking steps of faith when life is uncertain. That's why prayer was her constant companion, the most effective way to stay calm and feel God's peace. May you live this week with the eyes of faith, taking each step with Jesus. Amen!

God Bless You!

2011-01-25T08:19:00.000-08:00

I've recently heard a couple of sermons from different Pastors on the importance of blessing others. My own Pastor encouraged us to say "Bless you" more often, perhaps beginning on Thanksgiving Day. I took this suggestion to heart, and mentioned each person at our Thanksgiving table by name in our prayer before the meal. Afterward, I could tell that it made a difference to everyone there: the power of being named and the power of being blessed. So, I highly recommend praying for blessings with others and for others. Blessing friends and family in this way is the easy part. It feels great and people appreciate it. The harder part is blessing people who you really want to smack! The other sermon talked about blessing those who curse you. Of course, once I heard this sermon, those words came back in my mind when I found myself hurt and angry by disrespectful communication at different times by different people. Blessing those who hurt you is a lot harder! It's not something you do with them, but rather for them. Blessing our "enemies" is equally if not more important and incredibly powerful. I don't know if it has much impact on these disrespectful people, but it has a huge impact on me. My stress is lower, my blood pressure returns to normal, and I can smile again. I think Melissa knew that when we bless others, we get blessed in the process. That's why she spent all of her time focusing on giving to others, and more determined to do so as her time grew short. So, as much as it's a struggle, I will continue to bless people-- both those I love and those I'd love to strangle. Because in giving the blessing, we get back so much more!

New Year's Resolutions

2011-01-03T05:57:00.000-08:00

New Year's Resolutions are the topic of discussion this weekend. We crave new beginnings, a fresh start! We want to forget our past mistakes and failures, charging into a new year with hopes of a better chance at success! I have a big project ahead of me. Something I am committed to doing, but fear that it will not turn out good enough. I know the way to make my new year dreams and goals come true: team up with the Living God. Plug into the Power Source. Join the winning team. I admit, the price is high. I have to give up what I want to do and put God in the driver's seat. Of course, any goal that helps me be more physically or mentally healthy is automatically backed by my Creator who wants us to be all we can be--all we were meant to be-- all we were created to be! God always has our best interest at heart, but only HE can see the road ahead to know which way to go. Here's the cool part: He will take us on the best adventure of our lives, and guarantee us success! As long as I am are following Jesus, I cannot fail! Miracles happen when we follow God's leading: (See Acts 12). Melissa knew the power of following God, and prayed for His help to do so continually (See Melissa's Prayer Journal ). Melissa also felt the blessings of God's arms around her every time she prayed! So, this year, I'm putting prayer on the top of my New Year Resolution list. I'm joining the A team & putting God first in my life. I'm going to post this verse in my kitchen: Joshua 1:7-9. I will tackle this project, and hang on tight to Jesus. Amen!

Gift-giving

2010-12-12T14:46:00.000-08:00

The big gift-giving season is upon us!! Everywhere we turn, we are bombarded by gift suggestions. The hype for the "perfect gift" threatens to steal our attention away from the real gifts and the real reason for the season! Real gifts are not wrapped in paper or tucked into bags. Real gifts are your words of affirmation, your full attention, your total appreciation of that person. Real gifts are the smiles and hugs, the patience and kindness, the love and concern you give to those around you. Some of the best gifts I've given are poems or letters, telling others how special they are! "People will forget what you said and people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." (B.J. Wasmund). I have a couple of notes from Melissa framed, because they make me feel so loved! Of course, the biggest gift of the season is the reason: God's gift of eternal life. God breaking into human history to hug us, hold us, grab us, and take us to heaven. So, despite all the pressure to buy, wrap, mail, decorate and party, take time to hug, hold, and feel the love of heaven. The King of Kings has come, and we are so deeply loved, each one, every moment. May the Prince of Peace reign in your hearts this Christmas and always- Blessings & Peace!

Counting Our Blessings

2010-12-04T06:39:00.000-08:00

It's a sad day in my life when Thanksgiving comes and goes and I neglect to write about that which gives our lives the most joy: gratitude!! So let me tell you about my newest take on Thanksgiving. This year, we did a new version of going around the table and each person identifying something for which they are thankful. This year, we focused on identifying those little things that we take for granted, but add so much comfort in our lives. This year, we went by categories, which I had written down for myself in advance: main dishes, desserts, beverages, things you buy in a drug store, electronics, means of transportation, entertainment, places, and a few more. Rather than go around the table, I just asked "What's your favorite..." We ended up with a long and happy discussion with people competing for "air time" to share their favorite thing. We didn't even make it through all the categories. Our lives are so amazingly rich with so many blessings, that we couldn't begin to make a dent! I am convinced that focusing on the goodness embedded in our daily existence makes such a difference in our perspective and mood. We need Thanksgiving all year long. So, keep counting your blessings, just as Melissa did! Your reading this is a blessing to me! -

Power

2010-11-06T08:47:00.000-07:00

Power takes on many forms. I have some power over my students, requiring assignments and disciplining with warnings when someone crosses the line. I really dislike the discipline required of me. I wish everyone would simply behave the way they should and let me simply teach and love them with the love of Christ! Of course, often an attempt to steer such students in the right direction will result in resentment and hostility. Understandable. No one appreciates having their short-comings pointed out, especially if they do not agree with the assessment! My calling is to do what is right with as much grace, compassion, respect and honesty possible, and trust God with the fallout. Power can also take on another form: "the work of faith with power" (2 Thes. 1:11). Paul prayed that the people he cared about would have the power of the Holy Spirit to do the work of faith. Power to do what is right, rather than what is easy. Power to love people when they are hostile in return. Power to persevere with the Vision sent by God, when all the obstacles seem overwhelming. Power to endure terrible news and the end of one's earthly life, knowing that another life awaits, as Melissa did. Power greater than any earthly position or authority: the power of faith provided by the Holy Spirit. I want that kind of power-- to serve our Lord all the days of my life with power of His love, His truth, and His Spirit. May God give us all the work of faith with power that we may all share in the glory of Jesus Christ. Amen.

The Countdown

2010-10-24T12:36:00.000-07:00

A number of people recently commented to me on their lifetime, specifically how much time they have left on earth. The trigger might have been the passing of a contemporary or the approach of a major decade milestone that brings on such morbid thoughts. I hear these loved ones say, "Only 20 or 30 more years left!" I always respond with the opposite viewpoint, "What if you die tomorrow, how do you want to spend today?" The fact is we do not control when we die, unless we choose to do so prematurely. But we do control how we live! By living each day to the fullest, we accrue a life of value, meaning, and purpose. "That's so simple!" one friend responded. Yes, but simple is not easy. To focus on the gift of this day takes discipline in our thinking, but the rewards are great! Squeezing the juice out of each day frees our mind from needless worry over those things we cannot control and maximizes our positive impact on those things we can control! Melissa worked at focusing on making each day count, as her days became more numbered. How did she do that? She prayed constantly for God's peace and to trust Him with tomorrow, then she concentrated on loving those around her today. When she was told she had only weeks left to live, she immediately went shopping for her sister's birthday gift and her father's day presents. This week, I'm going to try to live like Melissa, making each day count, praying and trusting my Lord for the future and doing my best to be a blessings to others each day. Have a great week!

Feelings

2010-10-12T06:03:00.000-07:00

I have an amazing capacity to ruminate. I stew. I worry. I toss problems over and about in my mind like a sea tossing a ship--- a very destructive thing to do. Our minds steer our lives. Our thoughts point us in the right or wrong direction. Now, problem solving is fine, but ruminating is fretting over those things which we cannot control, past, present or future. Focusing on circumstances, problems, worries, anxieties sap the very strength and joy out of our lives. I listened to a sermon this Sunday that stated "your focus determines your feelings." If we focus on our problems, we will be anxious and maybe depressed, but definitely not joyful! If we choose to focus on our God who loves us, our feelings change. We become relaxed. Joyful. All I have to do is remind myself that eternity is coming, and whatever I am so upset about this moment will pass so quickly that I won't even remember it two years from now. In the grand scheme of eternity, almost all of what I stress about is minutia. When I think about all the ways God has provided in the past, I can more easily trust His provision with whatever is stressing me right now. Melissa said in her witness, "God answers our prayers in the little things, so we can trust Him with the big things." Melissa was right about keeping a prayer journal, too. Just last week I was so upset about a work issue, and God sent the perfect answer- a gift straight from heaven!! A few days later I looked at my journal and realized how distressed I had been, and how quickly I had forgotten God's solution!! So, keep track of all those answered prayers, and remember, nothing is too big for our Faithful Creator, who just longs to bless us!! Blessings on your day!

Control

2010-10-05T05:47:00.000-07:00

Everyone feels a need to be in control of their lives. When we feel threatened by new circumstances, new losses, or new challenges, we can easily feel a need for more control. I once knew a Pastor who lost his church of many years because he started controlling every decision and every church matter. Only after the damage was done did a psychiatric nurse have the chance to identify the coping mechanisms behind the behavior. His controlling behavior began shortly after loosing both his parents within a few months. So much of what we do is unconscious!

If anyone needed to feel control, it must have been Melissa, as her cancer continued to grow through her lungs despite treatment. Yet, she focused on what she could give to others, not herself. She prayed for peace constantly and received it. She made plans and always had "things to look forward to", and focused on them. She successfully used her precious last days on earth to bless others and bring God's love to them! She relinquished control to her Lord, because she knew He loved her so much! She trusted God's plan, even though it made no sense to her. "If God takes me home now, it's to spare me from something worse," she explained to her shocked friends when she had only weeks left to live. Even in the face of the ultimate out of control of death, Melissa knew the secret to peace: trusting our Faithful Creator!

Making Days Count

2010-09-27T10:58:00.000-07:00

Today is Melissa's Birthday! She was born 26 years ago today. It seems like a long time ago in some ways, and in other ways not so long. Melissa quoted a saying in her Prayer Journal . "Don't just count your days, make your days count." She believed it was not how many days we get on this earth, but how we use them!! I know of a woman who is afraid to leave her house, a prisoner of her own mind, limited by her fears. She may live a long time, but she is not well enough to touch people positively. We have a choice to take each day, each moment, and make it count! How? By serving God and helping others. The cross says it all: our vertical relationship to the Lord and our horizontal relationship with others are all that matter in this life. So, today, I will connect with the people around me, as God sends them to me, and cherish the moments I have with each, just as I cherish the memories of my moments with Melissa. And I am so very grateful for each and every one: each moment, each memory, each precious person, and each day! Hope your day is great!

Conquering Anxiety

2010-09-04T04:44:00.000-07:00

"Everybody needs a half hour daily with God, unless you are really, really, really busy..................... then you need an hour." An outburst of laughter from the listeners followed these words. Who has time for reflecting, praying, meditating when life comes at us in double barrels? Yet, truer words were never spoken! The more we remember that Someone with endless power, limitless energy, immeasurable goodness, and total love stands next to us to help us through everything, the calmer we can be! And, being mere humans, we have to work at remembering we are not alone-- with notes on the mirror or CD's in the car or whatever it takes to stay focused on God. When my Dad's health began to deteriorate, my Mom asked me to embroider her a sampler for her wall: "Lord, help me to remember that nothing will happen today that you and I can't handle." She hung it on the wall facing her bed, so it was the first thing she saw as she got up every morning. And kneeling in prayer was the last thing she did before getting into bed each night. Melissa used "Our Daily Bread" books to read before retiring. Those are the routines that keep us calm in every storm, and afloat in every hurricane! So, I will make myself read the reflection on my computer "homepage" before logging into my email today, because conquering anxiety requires focusing on the Lord. Blessings on your day!

Emotional Fortitude

2010-08-30T07:36:00.000-07:00

I was talking with a person who has an intensely draining job: a social worker in an Intensive Care Unit. She spends her whole day, day after day, comforting families in distress while their loved ones titer on the edge of death. Can you imagine? How does one emotionally recover after a day in a job like that?! I found myself recommending my gold-standard intervention: a gratitude journal! Sometimes the things we experience are so emotionally exhausting and debilitating that rehashing them in a journal or talking to a friend just increases the trauma. Indeed, the research on Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder suggests that people who can stop themselves from ruminating over negative experiences and instead enjoy simple life events recover faster. (Shopping therapy!) I find I need a gratitude attitude the most when I am under intense stress. So, as I start this week bracing myself for a hyper-speed work environment, I will follow Melissa's example in listing the things for which I am grateful---focusing on the positive! Melissa made a point of having "things to look forward to" and focusing on those things, however small and simple the pleasures. Gratitude provides us with amazing emotional fortitude. So, I hope you can see the blessings of your day, even if you don't have time to write them down, and say a little prayer of "thanks". I'm thankful for you in reading this! Gratefully, Janice

Stretching

2010-08-14T06:37:00.000-07:00

Stretching is important to maintain flexibility and full range of motion for our muscles and joints. But God has been stretching me a lot lately, and that's a whole different ball game. God stretches me by pulling me out of my comfort zone, calling me to do new things that I never wanted to do.... like write a blog.... or start a publishing company. Now I feel called to make a video about Melissa and put in on the net.... maybe even Youtube! This could be really humiliating, especially at my less photogenic stage of life. The Lord continually reminds me that it's not about me, but Him. It's all about my helping others to get to the Source of the only real Peace and Joy available in this life, and that's a life with God. Melissa knew all about looking for love "in all the wrong places" and finally found it with Jesus. And she never stopped trying to point her friends in the right direction, to save them the heartbreak of blind alleys and dead ends in their search for meaning, fulfillment, the ultimate relationship. Stretching by God keeps me flexible in my thoughts and skills, but also keeps me hanging on tight to my Lord. I trust that I can do anything with God, and nothing worth doing without Him. I'm sure that's another positive outcome of God-stretching: I remain so aware of how much I need Him. So, I'll trust the Holy Spirit to be in my video, too. With the help of God, whatever I do will be helpful to others, even if I never find out. What a great reassurance! Blessings on you day!

Stories

2010-08-10T09:48:00.000-07:00

Recently, I've had the chance to share some stories with some younger friends, and hear some of their stories. It's amazing how true stories can be encouraging and enlightening, especially recounts of how God has worked in someone's life. Faith is so invisible and intangible for us who rely on five senses to experience the world. But when someone looks back and see's the trail of God's fingerprints in their circumstances, it's awesome! So, sharing those stories become a powerful way to strengthen one another in hope and even sharpen our own eyesight of God's hand on earth. Melissa had a powerful story about the night she was first diagnosed with cancer. She was crying for hours in her bedroom in the middle of the night, when she finally cried to God. As soon as she did, a light shone into her room from her back, 3rd story window facing woods. The light moved up and down, as if to prove it was not from this earth. She was stunned and cautiously crept to the window to pull up the shade. When she did, the light vanished without a trace. But really, that light stayed with her, for she had a peace that was beyond comprehension during her whole illness. God came to her in a light, and entered her to allow her to become His light. She told her story to all who would listen. Now we have to tell our stories, but most of all, we have to remember to cry to the One who responds with such amazing Grace! Blessings on your day-

Clouds

2010-07-29T08:08:00.000-07:00

Clouds symbolize all the things we avoid, such as pain, grief, or rejection. Yet, clouds have a purpose. Clouds are often the way that God reveals Himself to us. I read a reflection on clouds this morning which was so right! Even though we usually dread clouds, God comes in the center of them. Even the disciples were afraid of being covered by a cloud, yet God was in the middle! (see Luke 9:34-35). I know I easily feel badly about myself when I'm in a cloud, like it's somehow my fault. "I must be doing something wrong because I'm not happy." But clouds come so we can see Jesus. Let's face it: we tend to ignore God until we need Him. Even Melissa admitted to the Lord that she was much faster at handing Him her wish list than she was at saying "Thank you." We turn to God in our discomfort. When we do, we find that the closer we are to our Lord, the more our lives are full of His peace and joy, even in the midst of pain. So, when clouds come into your life, remember they are meant to be. We all get swallowed up in clouds, even the closest disciples of Jesus! And in the midst of the clouds, we just might find the treasure of the presence of God. Wishing you blessings on a cloudy day!

Something Bigger

2010-07-10T08:02:00.000-07:00

We were in Laos and Cambodia, visiting temples and sharing rice with Monks. We watched people kneel to golden images & stone statues, offering incense, flowers and fruit. Humans have a programmed need to worship. When circumstances spiral out of control and beyond our reach, we run to Something Bigger. We long to know Someone is in charge. Melissa did the same thing. The night she was diagnosed with cancer, she cried out to God. She turned to the Living Lord, Jesus Christ, right in her bedroom. No images, no man-created statue. Just God. And He instantly came in the form of a bright light, shining and moving into her window out of the pitch-black darkness of the forest night. Awesome. So Melissa and I invite you to look for Something, or rather Someone Bigger. Discover the real God, the Lord of All who is in All, and who comes to us as we seek Him. Jesus. Just come. Just call. Just talk to Him. He's real, and He'll be there for you, too, just as He was and is for Melissa.

Shout of Joy

2010-06-26T08:13:00.000-07:00

So the truth is... I was not shouting joy. I was sobbing. I was in one of those terrible fits of misery, driving to the cemetery in hope that spending time at Melissa's grave would comfort me. That's when God sent the angel. My phone rang. I dared not pick it up, for fear it was an angry family member, who had a right to me annoyed with me because I do make mistakes. (;_;) So, I listened to the message instead, and it was straight from heaven!! My Angel friend said, "I just called to tell you how much I love you...." Can you believe it? She had just come from church and I was on her mind, so she called and said exactly what I needed to hear - words straight from the mouth of God! "We have work to do!" The Lord reminded me that I have a reason for being on this earth and a purpose, and it goes way beyond my emotions on any given day. My Angel reassured me that my tears were fine: "Oh, those are just emotions! They change all the time." RIGHT! God is the one who doesn't change, and when we need Him, He sends angels. "Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning." (Psalm 30:5b). Who knows what unseen Angels are around us all the time, helping us out without us even realizing it--- like Melissa! The more I focus on the reality of God's love and providence, the more I see with eyes of faith, and I finally get to shout with Joy!! Wishing you many Angels in your week!

Triggers

2010-06-20T05:01:00.000-07:00

I was chatting with a Mom who lost a child several years ago. She shared how a daily occurrence recently brought her pain to the surface and surprised her once again. Anyone who has lost a loved one has encountered being caught off guard by intense sadness when you least expects it. Rather than see such events as unfortunate, I welcome these feelings, but not because they feel good! The longing for a loved one is always terribly painful, which is why we automatically avoid our grief and try to ignore it. Our innate tendency to bury our mourning makes such daily triggers so critical: we need the stab at our wounds in order to let out the pain. Crying is like breathing out carbon dioxide. We release our sadness to make room for the oxygen, for the healing. After a good cry, I always feel better: more able to concentrate on work and people, freer to enjoy the day. After loosing my Dad, I spent an hour alone every Saturday morning listening to his theme music and looking through his photos. This painful time allowed me to carry on through my week unhindered by surprise attacks of grief. My longing for Melissa is constant, and I have learned to simply embrace the pain, knowing that my longing is a measure of my love for her.
Loss is a part of life, which we all face at various points in our life. The challenge is to have the courage to feel the sadness, expressing all the feelings in healthy ways, creating memorials in our hearts, minds, lives, and knowing we will see our loved ones again....maybe soon!! God Bless-

Anniversaries

2010-06-09T11:08:00.000-07:00

We usually think of anniversaries for Weddings. In fact, I never thought of any other kind until a few years ago. But in Cambodia, people celebrate the anniversary of a family member on the day they died instead of birthdays. Rather than celebrate the day the living are born, people honor the day they lost a dear family member by gathering together with food and memories. What a healthy way to acknowledge loss and comfort each other with shared grief! Americans tend to hide death, avoid it, pretend it doesn't exist. Other cultures embrace the longing for a loved one with formal rituals and prayers. Perhaps their strong belief in an after life helps Cambodians to confront loss more openly and positively. Family members are still perceived as close by, and perhaps they are! A California woman recently told me that she hosted a dinner for her adult children on the tenth anniversary of her mother's death for the purpose of remembering both her parents. At first, her children thought she was 'weird". But when the whole family started telling stories around the dinner table, laughing together with memories, and sharing the old photos, the entire evening was a great success. Even the spouses enjoyed seeing childhood photos of those they married. I think we need more of such positive remembering together in our culture, both to heal from loss and to treasure the gift of those who have shaped our lives. Wishing you all good memories on Melissa's 6th Anniversary!

Lists

2010-05-12T06:44:00.000-07:00

I make lists almost every day. I'm so afraid I will forget something important, that my lists make me feel more secure. Having my "to-do" on paper lowers my anxiety. Melissa made lists, too. In her personal prayer journal , she lists people to pray for and things for which she was grateful. Those are the good kind of lists! My lists are more a function of my anxiety. The more anxious I am, the more lists I make. Yesterday, I made three lists all at the same time! Then I picked up a prayer book that my "adopted" daughter just gave me. The author spoke told of a Bible story where Jesus is being served in Martha's home, but Mary just sits with Jesus and doesn't help out. The punch line is "you are concerned about so many things, but really only one thing is necessary." Luke 10:41-43. Only one thing is necessary: listening to Jesus. I don't have to do everything or be everything. I only have to do what God calls me to do. "It is impossible to do everything that others want you to do, so you have to do what God wants you to do," my favorite quote from The Purpose Driven Life . So, I will continue to write lists, because it does lower my anxiety, but I must also remember to put "pray" on that list, or maybe more importantly, "listen". Listen to God, which always brings me peace. May God's peace be with you this day!

Surprises

2010-05-05T05:41:00.000-07:00

I encountered several surprises last week. Some were wonderful, and some were awful. A few surprises were those sickening disappointments in people whom you trusted. Jesus taught that people will always let us down, that's why we must put our faith and trust in God. Something inside of me finds it so much easier to trust that friendly smile looking at me than my Heavenly Father whom I have to work (pray) to contact. It's a continual struggle to rely on the Lord, not on others around me, to be filled emotionally by prayer, not only hugs & smiles. However, the more I rely on the real source of strength, the more I can serve my God and my fellow humanity. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding." (Proverbs 3:5). I have only to look at the scriptures Melissa used for strength in her prayer journal to feel strengthened and encouraged! Thank you, Princess, for showing us the way!

Rainbows!

2010-04-24T09:25:00.000-07:00

I received a photo of a rainbow this week that meant a great deal. Rainbows symbolize all the facets of strengths and gifts in each of us. Some people have stronger reds, and others stronger blues, but we all have many beautiful colors that make up our spectrum. The sender of the rainbow was responding to this metaphor, sending me a thank you for appreciating her rainbow. She had just left my final exam, and the clouds parted to display the lovely sight in a particularly timely way. Melissa viewed Rainbows as gifts from heaven to brighten her day, even writing a poem about them. "So if you're having a day, when its raining only on you, let the little things cheer you up, that's what you must do. You'll find that a little sun, will go a long way; It creates a rainbow in your rain, and will surely brighten your day." I think she actually was having a very bad day when she was given a rainbow encounter, and then wrote this poem. Melissa once reminded me that rainbows also symbolize hope and the promises of God .Genesis 9:12-14 Rainbows are gifts of hope from heaven, for those who are looking upward to see them & recognize the gift! So, keep looking for those little signs, in the sky or in an email or in a hug from a friend. God sends us blessings every day. We just need to stay tuned with the eyes of faith to see them. Blessings on your day today!

Gifts

2010-04-17T12:26:00.000-07:00

I received some amazing gifts this week, all unexpectedly. My students surprised me with with flowers, my adopted "daughter" showered me with thoughtful gifts, and an old friend treated me to lunch. A priceless treasure was hidden in each of these gestures: affirmation of my worth and value, recognition for impacting the lives of others, and affection for just who I am. Each instance brought touching words that feed my self-esteem. I live on such precious messages like oxygen, breathing them in to continue moving. Such sweet, priceless thoughts say more about the giver than about me, and leave me with the deep warmth of gratitude. - Melissa writes about receiving compliments on her strength and coping with cancer, which leave her feeling unworthy. She writes, "it's not me, it's God." She struggles with how to explain the source of her strength to the giver without sounding ungracious or preachy. Gifts can sometimes be harder to receive than to give, especially the gifts of affirmation or praise. Since God is the giver of all good things, both those strengths inside us and those gifts we receive from others, maybe we can turn it all back into praise to Him. Maybe they are all God's gifts after all. May this week bring you affirmation of your worth and value, and more blessings from Our Loving God.

Unintended Occupations

2010-04-12T05:02:00.000-07:00

I spent a few hours this past week creating a booklet from a personal journal found at the bedside of a close relative who recently entered heaven. One of her journals had a section titled: "The Purpose of My Life", and lists four purposes, structured around the Bible verse, Galatians 5:22-23. I made this booklet to honor this dear woman on her birthday. I couldn't help but wonder if she had been inspired by Melissa's Prayer Journal, almost hoping that we might find this section and share it with others after she had left the earth..... What a wonderful gift Melissa gave us, what an amazing piece of inspiration to teach so many others how to pray and how to journal. I now routinely recommend gratitude journals or life journals to my students and colleagues as a therapeutic source of comfort. Melissa started us all off, with her personal pilgrimage of writing, never intended to be shared, but all the more powerful for its unveiled honesty. As a result, I have been given this unintended occupation of reproducing power statements from those who go ahead of us to heaven, and sharing with all who God intends. So, I encourage you to journal. Write down the little miracles that happen in life: those things that are more than coincidence, but can only be seen through the eyes of faith! Write down the blessings of each day, focusing on the positive and savoring the goodness in our moments. And write down your prayers, noting their answers, and giving thanks. Enjoy the journey.

Friends

2010-04-04T15:12:00.000-07:00

Easter Sunday: our home is filled with the laughter and affection of dear friends. I would have felt lonely without them, but with their lovely gifts, bright smiles and fun jokes, I was happy to be so blessed! Melissa knew that friends and family are what really count. Although Melissa was very responsible with her work, her life revolved around people important to her -- making them laugh or showing them love. I am such a driven task-master to myself, as if my life depended on finishing my to-do list, that I sometimes neglect important relationships. Some people live life as though "the one with the most toys wins." I often live life as if "the one with the most finished projects wins." But really, all that counts is showing others we care, doing things for others to provide for them, to honor them, to nurture them, or to love them. We can focus on others in a million different ways, but the focus is the same. Loving other is what Jesus did- coming for us, dying for us, rising for us. So I will continue to stay connected with Jesus, and allow His mind to focus me more on Him, more on others, and more secure in His provision for me. Maybe a few minutes each day with the Risen Lord to reflect on the blessings of all the precious folks in my life will help me be a little less task-driven, and a little more like Christ. Happy Easter!

Miracles

2010-03-27T09:22:00.000-07:00

Often when I am hurting the most, missing Melissa or stressed by life events, God sends a miracle or two! They are the subtle, little things so easily overlooked or dismissed, but after a while you begin to spot them: a phone call at just the right time, or news of something wonderful, or a word of admiration or appreciation that makes you feed special! I received approval for a sabbatical this week, a precious opportunity to tackle hoped-for projects. But miracles can be as little as a butterfly circling your head in the middle of March, in the middle if Maine, in the middle of a sentence about Melissa- which also happened this week! Signs. Precious signs that God is with us, listening, loving, and taking care of even the small details of our lives when we trust Him. So this week, I will continue to watch for His blessings, focusing my eyes of faith to spot His fingerprints, and be thankful, because all good things that come into my life are gifts from Heaven! Including you!

Deep Joy

2010-03-20T10:01:00.000-07:00

I was talking with my husband this week about one of Melissa's friends who has newly discovered Jesus. She had always believed in God, but now she expresses a new, deep joy in having Jesus as her best friend. I thought about the difference. What Melissa's friend is experiencing, and Melissa experienced, and I've experienced is more than just believing in Jesus. It's following Him. It's making Him number one in your life. Why go to such extremes? Because only by following Jesus do you experience the thrill of a lifetime! Only by taking His hand and allowing Him to lead, do you understand the excitement in having your words, your actions and your everyday existence fit into the eternal plans of the Creator of the Universe. Following Jesus is living The Great Adventure- not always easy, but always rewarding! As we draw closer to God, we feel a deep joy that defies circumstance, a deep love so immense, we cannot even comprehend it! When I was discussing this difference with my husband, he compared it to people he knew in High School who got excited about drugs: "Hey this is GREAT! You've got to try this!!!" It was a perfect analogy, because being with Jesus really does make you high! Melissa says to God, "You spoil me so much!" (p.14, Melissa's Prayer Journal), even in the midst of horrific chemotherapy treatment! She told her church, "Once asked, He (God) granted me this amazing peace to deal with my situation." The Power of Prayer. Melissa wanted all of her friends to grow closer to God, to feel this amazing peace. She gave The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren to one of her friends two days before she died. She wanted everyone to feel the deep joy she had holding on to the hand of Jesus. As she ended one of her prayers to the Lord (p.8, Melissa's Prayer Journal), "Amazing, you are amazing. Nothing less and everything more. I love you. Melissa".

Blinded

2010-03-13T07:57:00.000-08:00

"We are called to walk blindly, living only in Your light, Guided by Your hand alone, Without our human sight"... is the first stanza of Melissa's poem titled, "Blinded". It's one of my favorites, of the 44 poems that she wrote, none of which were meant to be read by others necessarily. Melissa wrote her intense feelings in verse form for her own healing. When cancer frightened her, she prayed. Often she prayed by writing to God, not only in her Prayer Journal , but also in her cancer journal.
- I thought of this poem today because I had a really tough week struggling to trust God. I let the pressures of the circumstances stress me to the point of an incapacitating headache. Even though I prayed, I had a tough time trusting. Yet, I survived the week and I just have to leave the outcome in God's hands. All that worry and anxiety was pointless! Melissa ends her poem: "But if we lose sight of You, It's like losing a map, there is no way out, We're nothing but trapped; So I'll stick by You, I'll hold Your hand tight, Trusting You to guide me, With Your glorious light."... My goal this week is to hold on tighter to the Hand of our God, just like Melissa did!!- Blessings to you all!

Easy Conversation

2010-03-06T10:12:00.000-08:00

I listened to Melissa's second church witness this week, "The Power of Prayer." I have it on video, and gave a copy to a local church, who are using Melissa's Prayer Journal in several of their groups. As I watched Melissa deliver her speech again, I thought about how much I need to follow her advice. She talks about including God in our daily comings and goings. She describes an easy conversation that never ends, like an invisible playmate for a child, Someone always there who likes you! The difference is that God is not just in our imaginations--He really IS there, and not only likes us, but loves us more deeply than we can imagine. And when we join in the conversation, we begin to see and feel His response and His love. God blesses me when I least expect it in the most surprising ways, which I can more readily see when I do think to pray! For example, as I searched just now for Melissa's witness on the web, I found a great book review of Melissa's Prayer Journal--- What a GIFT!! Book Review. .....So, this week, I'll try to follow Melissa's example and pray when I'm driving to work, or doing the dishes, or brushing my teeth. I'll try to keep that dialog going, so my invisible Friend and Lord can keep my emotional tank filled with His love! Amen. Melissa's The Power Of Prayer

Lists

2010-02-27T06:43:00.000-08:00

I'm really good at making "to do" lists. I make one almost every day. I rarely accomplish all that I want to on that day, so the lists linger into the next day. I rarely make lists of all the good things in my life, unless I discipline myself to do so. On the contrary, I so easily fall into ruminating about problems or a rude remark or a harsh word, allowing it to dwell in my mind like a slow poison seeping through my consciousness. Melissa did just the opposite! Even with big problems in her life, she made a point of thanking God for all the blessings of the day. In her prayer journal, she would first bring a problem to God, and then turn to thanksgiving, filling her thoughts with all the good things in her life. I'm trying to follow Melissa's example. When I find myself focusing on the negative, I pull out my gratitude journal and make a list of all the things for which I have to be thankful. It never fails to put me in the right mood and mindset. Today, among many other things, I am grateful to you for reading this! God bless! Melissa's Lists

Encountering Adversity

2010-02-20T08:19:00.000-08:00

Aversity- bad things happen to good people, both tragic and small. We live in a broken world and stuff happens, sometimes awful things happen. Melissa is my role model for handling adversity: She clung to her God. She refused to feel sorry for herself or see her cancer as "bad luck". She chose to trust her God; she chose to believe He had a bigger plan; and she chose to live every day in the light of the Lord. And what impact did that have? It changed everything! Rather than be bitter and angry, Melissa felt God's love every day in little ways, because she had chosen to put on the eyes of faith! She trusted God, not because she understood His plan, but because she felt His grace. She trusted in Who she knew, not what she understood. As a result, all of us around her marveled at her power, her conviction, her strength, her ability to feel confident, even as her body was being destroyed. She told her friends, "Guys, I know where I am going." She was not a victim of circumstance, but a precious daughter held in the hands of her Lord. So, when things go wrong for me, I try to see them as part of a plan. Rather than allowing circumstances to dictate my life, I choose to trust our Faithful Creator, just as Melissa did! see Melissa's Faith

God is Love

2010-02-14T14:56:00.000-08:00

Melissa always loved Valentine's Day, even as a little girl. She got excited just anticipating being able to tell her family and special loved ones how much she cared. She would write poems, make cards, even sing songs! Although Melissa was always a romantic and loved red roses and sweet songs, she also knew the best love came from her Heavenly Father, and wanted everyone to feel this real love as well. The arms that never fail, the acceptance that's truly unconditional, the forgiveness that never ends, the patience that is never worn out, and the depth of love beyond our imaginations all comes from above. Valentine's Day provides a lovely reminder to demonstrate our love to those so precious in our lives. But every day, gives us a chance to see God's love for each of us in every blessing in our lives. Hope you are feeling so very deeply loved today by your Heavenly Father.

Gifts from Heaven

2010-02-07T07:20:00.000-08:00

Melissa wrote many times about the little gifts from heaven in her everyday events that cheered her up and made her feel loved. I've had several of those gifts today, and its only ten in the morning! They come through other people, circumstances, just special little treats that may seem coincidence to the by-stander, but those with the eyes of faith can clearly see God's fingerprints! I find my spiritual vision is more acute when I am hurting for some reason, feeling not quite up to the tasks in front of me. That's when God reaches down and sprinkles blessings, and I just know I am loved by my heavenly Father. My gifts today came during my time in Church. Being focused on God helps to open those channels of communication, and allow God's love to reach us more freely. So, I'll keep praying and keep attentive to the gifts, that I can be thankful to our faithful Creator and Lord. Amen. A Gift from Melissa

Keeping Perspective

2010-01-23T10:15:00.000-08:00

I so easily loose my sense of balance! Deadlines hit, demands spiral and I begin to see everything as urgent. But Melissa had the right priorities: put God first and everything else falls in place! Once God is at the top of my list, everything else becomes less important in light of eternity, and my blood pressure immediately goes down! Keeping perspective means focusing on all that matters, loving others and drinking in the presence of God. It's a constant struggle for me to maintain that balance, but God is always there to catch me as I tumble, and set me back on track with a smile on my face after I fall. Thank you, Lord!

Feeling Helpless

2010-01-19T05:24:00.000-08:00

The only news we hear this week describes the unspeakable suffering and tragedy in Haiti. Who can see the magnitude of destruction and hear the voices of desperation without feeling helpless, inadequate and overwhelmed? When our concerns become too big for us to handle, we need Someone bigger. Prayer is a very real and powerful intervention, for just as the angel Gabriel told Mary, nothing is impossible with God. Our financial resources may be limited, but prayers we can give endlessly! Melissa's prayers were full of lists of requests to God on behalf of her friends, especially their faith. So, let's lift up the people in Haiti, asking not only for physical healing but also for emotional strength, hope, and faith to see the arms of God even in the midst of devastation. God comes quickly near to those who call to Him, just as Melissa found out the night she was diagnosed with cancer. Bringing the people of Haiti before the throne of Heaven is one strong action we can take every day!

Perfect Timing

2010-01-10T06:44:00.000-08:00

I'm always impatient with myself and how much I can get accomplished in a day. But God's timing is perfect. Sometimes, even my inability to meet my own schedule is all part of the big plan, the tapestry God is weaving is my life. I gave two "Melissa" gifts yesterday, and I didn't even realize how perfectly they were connected. But God knew, and Melissa knew. As the gifts were unwrapped the miraculous connection was revealed. How perfect! .... So, the secret to perfect timing is to pray, and listen, and follow that inner voice, and trust, continuing to look for the fingerprints of God in all the little "coincidences" of our lives.

Days that Count

2009-12-31T11:23:00.000-08:00

Melissa records a quote in her prayer journal: "Don't just count your days, make your days count" (p.32). Melissa understood that the quality of our lives comes from savoring each moment. The time frame that keeps us hopeful is focusing on right this minute in light of eternity. So, rather than dwelling on the past year or coming decade, pay attention to the goodness of today, giving thanks for every little blessing of the moment, trusting God with the days ahead, and knowing that eternity with all its splendor and joy is yet to come! Blessings and deep faith to you now and every moment to come. See Melissa's Prayer Journal

Christmas Blessings

2009-12-24T17:12:00.000-08:00

"So Lord, help us all remember that Christ is the focus now..." Melissa writes in her Advent poem. She got it. She knew the secret of a real Christmas: focusing on Christ. The real message isn't the manger, it's the cross. It's not the babe, it's the Lord breaking into human history, paying the price for us, so that we can go back to paradise with Him. Jesus was born to die, so that we can be raised and live forever. God's love is so all encompassing, that He came in human form to bring us to Him. So, even if we have disappointments or losses or pain of any kind this Christmas, we can be enveloped by God's love and surrounded by His promise to be with us even to the end of time. God's amazing love is the true meaning of Christmas. May you be surrounded by His Peace and Love this Christmas and always....

Gifts

2009-12-13T12:33:00.000-08:00

Melissa worked hard at giving thoughtful gifts. She most often made gifts, but she also considered carefully what each person would enjoy. She noted little things, like my enjoyment of Beatle songs on the radio. One Christmas she made me a CD of Beatle tunes. She wanted her gifts to show her love. She made collages from magazine letters to tell friends how they were special, or prayer journals to encourage a dear friend on her own prayer journey. When she was told she had only weeks left to live, Melissa first went shopping for her sister's birthday gift and her two Dad's Father's Day gifts, and then birthday gifts of friends for that summer. We all tend to think we have plenty of time left on earth to say "I love you" with gifts, but we never know. So, now is the time to use gifts of all kinds to show your love to those precious to you, keeping in mind that the gift of your complete, full attention and the gift of words of sincere affirmation and praise are always the most powerful gifts anyone can give. Thank you for your gift of reading this blog!

More Gifts from Melissa

Trust

2009-12-09T11:09:00.000-08:00

"I trust you with all the dealings of my fragile heart and all the precious people held in it." Melissa writes these words in her prayer to God as she talks about a relationship. Trust. One of the hardest things to do. Melissa handed over to God the things she most wanted, and trusted that God would take care of her either way, no matter what happened. Why did she believe that? Because she felt God's love as she talked to Him. The more we communicate with God, the more we begin to feel His love and peace. So, Melissa knew God was trustworthy and would never leave her. He would always be there for her. And He was and is and will always be.... May the peace of a trusting heart be yours this day! -
Melissa's Mom. More Thoughts on Trust

Smiles

2009-12-03T20:55:00.000-08:00

Melissa loved to make people laugh and smile! She saw the humor in everyday interactions and loved to tease. She was quick to see the opportunity for a prank, like sending a naive friend into a clothing rack to try on pants--- and taking his picture! Melissa created her own fun by keeping a Groucho Marx glasses with nose & mustache in her car. She & her good friends would wear them riding around in traffic, enjoying the second-take looks from other drivers and the smiles and nods! Melissa did her best to make every day a play day!--

So, take some time today to see the humor, laugh at your mistakes, smile at something silly, or even where a pair of funny glasses.... just to make someone smile. What a great way to brighten the day! - Blessings... Melissa's Mom

see More About Melissa

Little Things-

2009-12-01T07:36:00.001-08:00

Melissa wrote a poem about little things:
"Lord, every day you shower me with blessings and I am so grateful for them all,
There are some that are easily overlooked because they are so insignificant and small."
She continues to thank God for little things, like chicken soup and every smiling face. How did Melissa get through chemotherapy? By focusing on the little blessings. If we deliberately make a point of looking at the good things in every day, we will actually have more energy to deal with the hassles. Try it. And thank you for reading this message! Check out more of Melissa's positive thoughts at this link:

Melissa's Prayer Journal

Thank You!

2009-11-28T14:32:00.000-08:00

Did you know that the majority of the prayers in Melissa's private journal were thank yous? Thank yous for her boyfriend, thank yous for answered prayer, thank yous for special friends, and my personal favorite, "Thank you for my Mom!" Even though Melissa was in cancer treatment at the time, she deliberately focused on the good in her life. Therein lies the secret of true happiness--- to focus on all that God has given us, and to say "Thank you!" Thank you for reading this! - Gratefully, Melissa's Mom

Melissa's Prayer Journal

Portraits of a Smile

2009-11-26T19:41:00.000-08:00

Welcome!

2009-11-26T19:16:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Melissa's Corner! This is where all the wisdom and humor of Melissa will be shared, remembered, and brought into today's hope, faith and love!

Blessings - Melissa's Mom
http://www.mbmpublishers.com/