Comparisons

Envy can destroy relationships among even the best of friends. Envy creates ugly dynamics, petty comments, and back-stabbing gossip. People feel envy when they feel deprived of something they think they deserve that someone else has: they compare themselves to others and feel they come up short.  When I perceived others feeling envious of something I receive or experience, and I will do my best to hide that asset from their awareness in the future.  I want to avoid the poison darts, which can often be thrown unconsciously by even close friends.  No one wants to admit to themselves that they are envious! At the same time that others may envy some asset of mine, they ignore my continual pain. They focus on what I have, not what I do not have: my first born child, now in heaven.  If they really looked at the whole picture of my losses and gains, no one in their right mind would want to change places with me.  No matter what other blessings come into my life, and there are many, nothing can compensate for the loss of a part of myself and my future that is forever gone from this earth. I find the best way to deal with such distorted comparison is to focus on our blessings!  Reinforce the assets, talents, and positive aspects of others to build their own self-concept and lower their  need to compare themselves to others. The antidote to our own envy is avoid comparisons and remember that we can never see the whole picture of another person's life. People do a great job of hiding their vulnerabilities, but we all have them: the places of pain from our past. We can safely assume that the rosy picture portrayed by coworkers or friends is not the whole story.  Melissa appeared a healthy, thriving, and happy young woman in the last year of her battle with cancer.  But I know she envied others who had the promise of a full life, and that envy caused her more pain. Perhaps the more others envy, the greater their pain. When we feel envy, maybe we need to remember that everyone is carrying some heavy weight of self-doubt, threat to self-worth, difficult family situation, or deep psychological pain. Then focus on what assets we have and avoid all comparisons. We all have God-given gifts and blessings for the purpose of fulfilling our own unique calling on this earth. The more we focus on all that God has given us, the happier we will be under any circumstances. Hoping your day will be filled with counting your blessings! ~ JBM

Priorities

Melissa made a cover for her personal prayer journal that said "Priority".   She made God her priority in her life.  I've failed miserably at this goal, especially in the last two weeks on vacation.  Being out of my routine and on a busy tour gave license to all my feeble excuses.  As a result, I had far more anxiety and much less joy than if I had simply   stayed connected!     Routine does help me stay focused and positive by building time with God into my daily life.  I have breakfast with Jesus.  I pray when I'm in the car.  I have cues that I associate with talking with God, reading a devotional, or reading God's Word.  So, when I'm out of my routine, I need to establish new ways or times or cues to keep me connected, so I can really  enjoy every minute relaxed and safe in the arms of my Heavenly Parent.  Thank you, Lord, that your mercy is never ending and that each day is a new beginning!  Wishing you all a joyful time of R&R this summer, staying connected.  JBM

Joy

I was reading a refection (March 7) today that explained how we can feel joy even in the midst of difficulties and even sorrow.  The author explained that it is the tough parts of life that bring us close to God and help us really feel His love!   When we draw near the throne in times of pain, we are lifted above our circumstances in a way that gives us irrational joy, an exuberance in life, an exhilaration in feeling God's love for us! We are not joyful FOR the difficulty or even in spite of difficulty, we are joyful in the midst of difficulty! Why, because feeling God's love is SO amazing. When the Creator of the Universe says "I love you" in the small details of our lives, you feel a deep joy.  Melissa spoke of this joy when she wrote in the last months of her life, "I can hardly contain my joy in the Lord."  Now I finally get it!  She felt God next to her at a level of intimacy that was beyond description.  And so shall we, as we draw near to our loving Lord in all circumstances, knowing that He is big enough to lift us up above everything and anything!  May God bless you today! - JBM

Gifts

One of the greatest gifts we can give another person is our full attention: our undivided focus when we really listen to their needs.  In our world of constant noise and endless wireless stimulation, pausing to concentrate on the felt needs of another human being is not only a challenge, but an exquisite treasure. You provide such gold when you look into the eyes of a co-worker, friend, or family member, really hearing the meaning behind the words, or even better, feeling  them.  Melissa knew this well, and asked for her friends to tell her their problems. Even during chemotherapy, she longed to be of help to others. We can easily miss the opportunity to help others because such self-less loss into the needs of another is emotionally and cognitively draining.  But please know, that no matter what other comfort you may provide, your full attention to the needs of another provides a priceless gift. Give it freely, and feel the deep satisfaction of the riches you have to offer this world.  Blessings, JBM

Freebies

We all love something that is free!  So I couldn't resist downloading The Purpose Driven Life, the most widely sold book world-wide other than the Bible.  This book is newly published with an updated version, videos for each chapter, and tons of resources for individuals or groups, most of which are free online at Saddleback Church.  Explore the multiple webpages. I've been listening to each chapter by podcast while making dinner or cleaning up, a great dose of optimism in my day.  I feel renewed and re-energized by focusing on my purpose in life.  I feel boosted in my self-worth to be reminded that God has important work for me to do. No wonder this book sold so many copies!!  I've been trying to nudge my friends to listen to these resources, too, because when you find something really helpful, you want to share it!!  Melissa knew the power of this book, and bought it as a gift to a friend as her last purchase on this earth!  So, it must be good if the Holy Spirit included it for her end agenda!  Try listening or watching the teachings that go with it.  I'm hoping you will feel excited at all that God has in store for you as well. Blessings!  JBM

Miracles

When you obey God, miracles happen.  I learned that lesson decades ago, and I saw it again this year.  The Holy Spirit gave me a nudge to donate a part of my inheritance to my parent's church, more than a tithe.  I just got this feeling (not an emotion) that the Lord wanted a certain amount to go to my childhood church, St. Peter's Episcopal Church, in Peekskill, N.Y, a wonderfully elegant, historic stone church in need of repair.  We met with the Rector (Senior Pastor), a highly intelligent, disciple of Christ whose love for the Lord is evident in every sentence.  He graciously gave us a choice of which project in the church to tackle with our donation.  As God leads, we all agreed that the Parish Hall was the top priority, and this wonderful man declared it would be renamed, "Bell Hall", after my parents, Samuel and Bertha Bell.  To me, having a hall named after my parents is a miracle.  Not in my wildest dreams could I have thought of such a thing, certainly not in a church.  My parents loved St. Peter's and served God through that church until the day they died, so this honor is so fitting, a gift from God.  When you obey God, miracles happen.  Melissa knew this, and asked God to help her do His will (p.18-19). So, what is the Lord nudging you to do today? Is there someone you need to hug? or forgive? or ask forgiveness of?  Is the Holy Spirit asking you to return to your daily prayer?  Is there a habit you need to break or one you need to develop more?  Whatever God is asking you to do, do it!  When you obey God, miracles happen!!  Wishing you a new year filled with miracles! JBM 

Tragedy

This week, innocent women and children were brutally slaughtered by a madman. How can a just God, how can a loving God, how can an omnipotent God allow such a thing?  How can we trust such a God, or even believe in such a Being?  We cry to God, "How can You allow this to happen?"  And He answers, "I did not do this, you did.  I gave you free will.  You created a society where guns are easily secured. You created a civilization where graphic, violent videos and movies are everywhere and called entertainment.  You allow all manner of hatred and hostility to pour into homes through the internet in the name of freedom of speech.  You support a culture so dedicated to individual rights that mention of My Name is all but forbidden from public discourse."  God gave us all free will rather than create a world of puppets with no evil. So, we suffer with violence, hatred, and unthinkable crime because we have the power to choose, and many choose evil. But God knows the pain of those parents who lost their precious children far more than we do. He not only watched his only Son be tortured and murdered, He planned it. God ordered the execution of the only Innocent Man to ever walk this earth, His own Son.  God planned the solution for our evil, at His own expense, so that all who believe in Him have far more than a pitiful 5 or 50 or 90 years, but have all of eternity to live in the midst of true love.  Such a guarantee of life does not lessen the pain for those parents, but it opens the door to peace and the promise of being reunited. And that is exactly what Christmas brings, not sentimental carols and happy faces, but the cross. A baby born to die so that we may live. God breaking into our world to rescue us from ourselves and our own destruction.  Christmas, after all, is an awesome miracle of a loving Creator, a very somber plan of sacrifice of His own Son.  God coming to us.  ~ I pray, not that your Christmas be merry, but holy, and His. JBM