Triggers

I was chatting with a Mom who lost a child several years ago.  She shared how a daily occurrence recently brought her pain to the surface and surprised her once again.  Anyone who has lost a loved one has encountered being caught off guard by intense sadness when you least expects it.  Rather than see such events as unfortunate, I welcome these feelings, but not because they feel good! The longing for a loved one is always terribly painful, which is why we automatically avoid our grief and try to ignore it.  Our innate tendency to bury our mourning makes such daily triggers so critical: we need the stab at our wounds in order to let out the pain.  Crying is like breathing out carbon dioxide.  We release our sadness to make room for the oxygen, for the healing.  After a good cry, I always feel better: more able to concentrate on work and people, freer to enjoy the day.  After loosing my Dad, I spent an hour alone every Saturday morning listening to his theme music and looking through his photos. This painful time allowed me to carry on through my week unhindered by surprise attacks of grief.  My longing for Melissa is constant, and I have learned to simply embrace the pain, knowing that my longing is a measure of my love for her. 
    Loss is a part of life, which we all face at various points in our life.  The challenge is to have the courage to feel the sadness, expressing all the feelings in healthy ways, creating memorials in our hearts, minds, lives, and knowing we will see our loved ones again....maybe soon!!  God Bless-