Transitions

Transition is painful.  Change is hard.  We quickly get used to things they way they are and only discomfort will prompt us to make a move.  Fall is a season of transitions, which always make me more anxious. My security gets shaken by change.  I unconsiously worry about my ability to handle new situations.  Melissa had the answer to feeling so threatened: "Lord, let me gaze upon you as I glance at my circumstances." (Melissa's Prayer Journal, p.62.)  I have an index card posted on my kitchen cabinet with a Bible verse: "Set your mind on the things above, not on the things on earth."  (Col 3:2).  Melissa knew that the more we place our security in God's provision and love for us, the less rattled we will be by the white water churning under our feet!  I need a lot of reminders to channel my thoughts in the right direction, but remembering ALL the ways God has provided in the past and continues to bless me every day, helps to really calm me down. So, if you have some threatening clouds over your head or waves crashing around you, keep your eyes on Jesus. Blessings always- JBM   

Letting Go

I've been practicing my specialty this week--- fretting!   I'm a pro at worrying about things, especially my to-do list!!  I see these next couple of weeks as my last chance to complete my second book of Melissa's writings before I get swallowed up in the academic year.   My window of opportunity for 2011 is quickly shutting for this precious project.  This morning, I gave it over to God......again.  Reading Oswald Chambers brought me back to the enlightenment:  my life and goals do not belong to me.  I am serving my God, and He is in charge of what gets done and when.  The Lord will give me time and strength to complete that which is needed when it is His time.  And God knows when the world is ready for this book, not me.  I have to chose to let go and let God take control, which for me is a constant struggle.    Although painful, letting go is also the only way to peace.  Amazing how Melissa kept that perspective, when her time was really getting short!  I need to follow her example. So, I'm sharing this little patch of peace with you, while my head is still in a good place.  As long as I keep my eyes on Jesus, I'll have a good day!  I hope  yours is good, too.  - Blessings - JB

Panic

So I pretty much woke up in a panic early this morning..... way too early this morning.  I am deeply, deeply grateful that my panic had nothing to do with a family member, at least not one on earth.  My daughter in Thailand is thriving, thanks to a life-time supply of amoxicillin.  No, this time I'm worried about meeting my goals in the next three weeks, which is when my summer ends.  I have a ton of work to do to set up my course that I teach, but that will get done.  I'm worried about Melissa's Window,  a precious volume of Melissa's journal and diaries in the last 20 months of her life.  I started this in January 2007, taking a 50% cut in pay in order to have time off to complete it.  I never finish, because other urgent demands came up.  I have been waiting four years,.... four long years,...... for another block of time to shut out the world and complete this book.  My sabbatical gave me that golden opportunity, once I had completed my promised sabbatical work.  But I just finished meeting with all of my book reviewers for Melissa's Window, who informed me that I have a ton of work left to do on this book.  I mean another mountain to climb, and only 3 weeks to do it along with my usual course preparation.  Of course, the answer to my panic over this book is the same as the answer to my worry about my daughter:   Isaiah 26:3    The solution is the same, no matter what the problem, the anxiety, the challenge, the worry--- focus on Jesus!  I have to maintain that eye-to-eye contact with the invisible, if I want to remain calm, not to mention pleasant ;-)  ( I'm afraid my worried state fails to bring out the best in me with my loved ones.)  So, here I am again. Right where God wants me to be.  Incredibly dependent on His Peace.  Trusting Him with Melissa's story in the same way that she did....... totally.  Melissa's my role model.  If she can trust Him with her life, I can trust God with her book and His timing with it.  All I have to do is keep looking UP! - Blessings & Peace,  JB

Feelings

I have an amazing capacity to ruminate.  I stew.  I worry.  I toss problems over and about in my mind like a sea tossing a ship--- a very destructive thing to do.  Our minds steer our lives.  Our thoughts point us in the right or wrong direction.  Now, problem solving is fine, but ruminating is fretting over those things which we cannot control, past, present or future.  Focusing on circumstances, problems, worries, anxieties sap the very strength and joy out of our lives. I listened to a sermon this Sunday that stated "your focus determines your feelings."   If we focus on our problems, we will be anxious and maybe depressed, but definitely not joyful!  If we choose to focus on our God who loves us, our feelings change.  We become relaxed.  Joyful.  All I have to do is remind myself that eternity is coming, and whatever I am so upset about this moment will pass so quickly that I won't even remember it two years from now.  In the grand scheme of eternity, almost all of what I stress about is minutia.  When I think about all the ways God has provided in the past, I can more easily trust His provision with whatever is stressing me right now.  Melissa said in her witness, "God answers our prayers in the little things, so we can trust Him with the big things." Melissa was right about keeping a prayer journal, too.  Just last week I was so upset about a work issue, and God sent the perfect answer- a gift straight from heaven!!  A few days later I looked at my journal and realized how distressed I had been, and how quickly I had forgotten God's solution!!  So, keep track of all those answered prayers, and remember, nothing is too big for our Faithful Creator, who just longs to bless us!!  Blessings on your day!

Conquering Anxiety

"Everybody needs a half hour daily with God, unless you are really, really, really busy..................... then you need an hour."  An outburst of laughter from the listeners followed these words.  Who has time for reflecting, praying, meditating when life comes at us in double barrels?   Yet, truer words were never spoken!  The more we remember that Someone with endless power, limitless energy, immeasurable goodness, and total love stands next to us to help us through everything, the calmer we can be!  And, being mere humans, we have to work at remembering we are not alone-- with notes on the mirror or CD's in the car or whatever it takes to stay focused on God.  When my Dad's health began to deteriorate, my Mom asked me to embroider her a sampler for her wall:  "Lord, help me to remember that nothing will happen today that you and I can't handle."  She hung it on the wall facing her bed, so it was the first thing she saw as she got up every morning. And kneeling in prayer was the last thing she did before getting into bed each night. Melissa used "Our Daily Bread" books to read before retiring.  Those are the routines that keep us calm in every storm, and afloat in every hurricane!  So, I will make myself read the reflection on my computer "homepage" before logging into my email today, because conquering anxiety requires focusing on the Lord. Blessings on your day!

Lists

I make lists almost every day.  I'm so afraid I will forget something important, that my lists make me feel more secure. Having my "to-do" on paper lowers my anxiety. Melissa made lists, too.  In her   personal prayer journal , she lists people to pray for and things for which she was grateful. Those are the good kind of lists!  My lists are more a function of my anxiety. The more anxious I am, the more lists I make.  Yesterday, I made three lists all at the same time!  Then I picked up a prayer book that my "adopted" daughter just gave me. The author spoke told of a Bible story where Jesus is being served in Martha's home, but Mary just sits with Jesus and doesn't help out. The punch line is "you are concerned about so many things, but really only one thing is necessary."  Luke 10:41-43.   Only one thing is necessary: listening to Jesus.  I don't have to do everything or be everything. I only have to do what God calls me to do. "It is impossible to do everything that others want you to do, so you have to do what God wants you to do,"  my favorite quote from   The Purpose Driven Life . So, I will continue to write lists, because it does lower my anxiety, but I must also remember to put "pray" on that list, or maybe more importantly, "listen".  Listen to God, which always brings me peace.  May God's peace be with you this day!