Friday, July 29, 2011

Letting Go

I've been practicing my specialty this week--- fretting!   I'm a pro at worrying about things, especially my to-do list!!  I see these next couple of weeks as my last chance to complete my second book of Melissa's writings before I get swallowed up in the academic year.   My window of opportunity for 2011 is quickly shutting for this precious project.  This morning, I gave it over to God......again.  Reading Oswald Chambers brought me back to the enlightenment:  my life and goals do not belong to me.  I am serving my God, and He is in charge of what gets done and when.  The Lord will give me time and strength to complete that which is needed when it is His time.  And God knows when the world is ready for this book, not me.  I have to chose to let go and let God take control, which for me is a constant struggle.    Although painful, letting go is also the only way to peace.  Amazing how Melissa kept that perspective, when her time was really getting short!  I need to follow her example. So, I'm sharing this little patch of peace with you, while my head is still in a good place.  As long as I keep my eyes on Jesus, I'll have a good day!  I hope  yours is good, too.  - Blessings - JB

Monday, July 25, 2011


So I pretty much woke up in a panic early this morning..... way too early this morning.  I am deeply, deeply grateful that my panic had nothing to do with a family member, at least not one on earth.  My daughter in Thailand is thriving, thanks to a life-time supply of amoxicillin.  No, this time I'm worried about meeting my goals in the next three weeks, which is when my summer ends.  I have a ton of work to do to set up my course that I teach, but that will get done.  I'm worried about Melissa's Window,  a precious volume of Melissa's journal and diaries in the last 20 months of her life.  I started this in January 2007, taking a 50% cut in pay in order to have time off to complete it.  I never finish, because other urgent demands came up.  I have been waiting four years,.... four long years,...... for another block of time to shut out the world and complete this book.  My sabbatical gave me that golden opportunity, once I had completed my promised sabbatical work.  But I just finished meeting with all of my book reviewers for Melissa's Window, who informed me that I have a ton of work left to do on this book.  I mean another mountain to climb, and only 3 weeks to do it along with my usual course preparation.  Of course, the answer to my panic over this book is the same as the answer to my worry about my daughter:   Isaiah 26:3    The solution is the same, no matter what the problem, the anxiety, the challenge, the worry--- focus on Jesus!  I have to maintain that eye-to-eye contact with the invisible, if I want to remain calm, not to mention pleasant ;-)  ( I'm afraid my worried state fails to bring out the best in me with my loved ones.)  So, here I am again. Right where God wants me to be.  Incredibly dependent on His Peace.  Trusting Him with Melissa's story in the same way that she did....... totally.  Melissa's my role model.  If she can trust Him with her life, I can trust God with her book and His timing with it.  All I have to do is keep looking UP! - Blessings & Peace,  JB