Comparisons

Envy can destroy relationships among even the best of friends. Envy creates ugly dynamics, petty comments, and back-stabbing gossip. People feel envy when they feel deprived of something they think they deserve that someone else has: they compare themselves to others and feel they come up short.  When I perceived others feeling envious of something I receive or experience, and I will do my best to hide that asset from their awareness in the future.  I want to avoid the poison darts, which can often be thrown unconsciously by even close friends.  No one wants to admit to themselves that they are envious! At the same time that others may envy some asset of mine, they ignore my continual pain. They focus on what I have, not what I do not have: my first born child, now in heaven.  If they really looked at the whole picture of my losses and gains, no one in their right mind would want to change places with me.  No matter what other blessings come into my life, and there are many, nothing can compensate for the loss of a part of myself and my future that is forever gone from this earth. I find the best way to deal with such distorted comparison is to focus on our blessings!  Reinforce the assets, talents, and positive aspects of others to build their own self-concept and lower their  need to compare themselves to others. The antidote to our own envy is avoid comparisons and remember that we can never see the whole picture of another person's life. People do a great job of hiding their vulnerabilities, but we all have them: the places of pain from our past. We can safely assume that the rosy picture portrayed by coworkers or friends is not the whole story.  Melissa appeared a healthy, thriving, and happy young woman in the last year of her battle with cancer.  But I know she envied others who had the promise of a full life, and that envy caused her more pain. Perhaps the more others envy, the greater their pain. When we feel envy, maybe we need to remember that everyone is carrying some heavy weight of self-doubt, threat to self-worth, difficult family situation, or deep psychological pain. Then focus on what assets we have and avoid all comparisons. We all have God-given gifts and blessings for the purpose of fulfilling our own unique calling on this earth. The more we focus on all that God has given us, the happier we will be under any circumstances. Hoping your day will be filled with counting your blessings! ~ JBM

Feelings

I have an amazing capacity to ruminate.  I stew.  I worry.  I toss problems over and about in my mind like a sea tossing a ship--- a very destructive thing to do.  Our minds steer our lives.  Our thoughts point us in the right or wrong direction.  Now, problem solving is fine, but ruminating is fretting over those things which we cannot control, past, present or future.  Focusing on circumstances, problems, worries, anxieties sap the very strength and joy out of our lives. I listened to a sermon this Sunday that stated "your focus determines your feelings."   If we focus on our problems, we will be anxious and maybe depressed, but definitely not joyful!  If we choose to focus on our God who loves us, our feelings change.  We become relaxed.  Joyful.  All I have to do is remind myself that eternity is coming, and whatever I am so upset about this moment will pass so quickly that I won't even remember it two years from now.  In the grand scheme of eternity, almost all of what I stress about is minutia.  When I think about all the ways God has provided in the past, I can more easily trust His provision with whatever is stressing me right now.  Melissa said in her witness, "God answers our prayers in the little things, so we can trust Him with the big things." Melissa was right about keeping a prayer journal, too.  Just last week I was so upset about a work issue, and God sent the perfect answer- a gift straight from heaven!!  A few days later I looked at my journal and realized how distressed I had been, and how quickly I had forgotten God's solution!!  So, keep track of all those answered prayers, and remember, nothing is too big for our Faithful Creator, who just longs to bless us!!  Blessings on your day!

Shout of Joy

So the truth is... I was not shouting joy.  I was sobbing.  I was in one of those terrible fits of misery, driving to the cemetery in hope that spending time at Melissa's grave would comfort me.  That's when God sent the angel.  My phone rang. I dared not pick it up, for fear it was an angry family member, who had a right to me annoyed with me because I do make mistakes. (;_;)   So, I listened to the message instead, and it was straight from heaven!!  My Angel friend said, "I just called to tell you how much I love you...."  Can you believe it?  She had just come from church and I was on her mind, so she called and said exactly what I needed to hear - words straight from the mouth of God!  "We have work to do!"   The Lord reminded me that I have a reason for being on this earth and a purpose, and it goes way beyond my emotions on any given day.  My Angel reassured me that my tears were fine: "Oh, those are just emotions!  They change all the time."  RIGHT!  God is the one who doesn't change, and when we need Him, He sends angels.  "Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning." (Psalm 30:5b).  Who knows what unseen Angels are around us all the time, helping us out without us even realizing it--- like Melissa!   The more I focus on the reality of God's love and providence, the more I see with eyes of faith, and I finally get to shout with Joy!!  Wishing you many Angels in your week!