Positive Grieving

That title may seem like an oxymoron, right?  What can be positive about grieving?  But we do have choices in our grieving.  We can choose to bury our emotions and pretend they are not there, which is largely what our culture tells us to do.  I strongly encourage you to avoid this mistake.  A better choice is to express your appropriate sadness in tears, memories, writing, talking, praying, and honoring that person. The pain of loss has to be felt, expressed and released in order for us to heal.  Holding it in creates a huge boil under our skin that just continues to get more inflamed and painful.  Boils have to be lanced for all that bad stuff to be released, and then our bodies begin to heal.  Your instincts will tell you how to release this pain, just listen and follow your heart! 
If you have lost someone important to you, I highly recommend visiting the grave site as often as needed. Yes, it will be painful, but it will also give you peace.  Several of my daughter's friends traveled to her grave site with me a few years ago. We were all apprehensive about how the day would impact us, myself included.  I felt responsible to take care of these young people.  We spent several hours in the summer under a tree painting rocks with love notes for Melissa to leave there. We each took turns at her grave.  We all left with a great sense of peace.  Although being at Melissa's grave was sad, it was also comforting!  We all had a chance to talk to her and feel closer and express our affection.  We had a chance to release some of our sadness, and returned feeling lighter in heart.  So, do not fear the pain of sorrow and sadness, and do not feel guilty for feeling such sadness.  Our certainty of heaven gives us hope, but nothing takes away the pain of loosing a loved one, which is good pain!  It is the pain of love!  And feeling this pain just makes your heart grow into amazing dimensions, all the more capable of loving others!  So, embrace the pain. Feel it through, without self-pity, but with the knowledge that this is where you are meant to be.  Our God has an amazing plan and endless ability to turn our all tears into something wonderful.  Blessings on your day!